Isn't It Ironic?

"You'v already won me over, in spite of me."


How could I have let myself?? None of this should have happened. You're supposed to be just one of those boys whose last name I forget a few months down the road.

But you're not. And I hate that. It's that movie ending... the convertible classic car rides off into the sunset, the couple together, leaving nothing behind but a thick layer of dust where its been. Except, in this story, the guy forgot the girl. And no matter what she does or what he says, he doesn't make that u-turn. His heavy foot still remains on the gas pedal...getting as far away as he can get.

I have everything that could keep me occupied...but you still end up in my head.


Last year, my life was so incredibly simple and sweet. School was easy (and I was stilll attending), I was only working one job (instead of four), friends were around and I went home often enough. A boyfriend who would do anything for me...gave me the small world he knew. We broke up but it wasn't so hard. '07 looks as its heading towards a difficult year.

With all this, its hard to keep optimisitic. The reality is...you're going to always be that "what if?" guy. At times, I don't want to accept that that could be true. It's my rare glass-full thinking. But in the back of my analytical mind, I know its a lost cause. There is no hope to be had.

The one person that I want to give my world to....doesn't want it. Fuck you. It was all a lie.





Maybe I am a hopeless romantic. I've been denying it all these years but perhaps I'm one of those. I want that person that would travel hundreds of thousands of miles just to see me for a minute. The one that can stop analyzing everything and jump into anything with me. One who can forget everyone else exists, except us. I am going to let myself be whisked away by someone who's already in love with me. It'd be completely effortless. We'd travel the world. He'd let me have my zoo of animals. Two beautiful German/Japanese kids with a whole rainbow of 10 adopted children.

I would be his world. And he would be mine.